I feel like our souls were fused together in an ethereal realm before we ever breathed our first breath. And upon birth, we never knew of a love so genuine, pure and honest until we met. It may have taken us years to understand our love and connection to one another, but our souls knew the whole time. That's why we stayed connected and close through so many other obstacles life threw at us. And it wasn't until you placed your lips upon mine that our souls recognized our match. Our hearts danced and we fell into this whirlwind of love, passion and infallibility. We knew what was true. After that kiss, everything changed for me. The love I thought I knew before seemed so minuscule to what erupted inside me. You made me question everything in my life. You made me stop and re-evaluate some critical moves in my life at the time. I will never regret that, ever. I didn't stay in this town on a whim. My soul knew it was meant to be wherever you were, because that is where I felt whole and real. Everyday I woke with you beside me, was bound to be a wonderful day. And each day, 'I love you' just didn't seem to be enough to describe what I felt for you. Our souls knew this was forever and that is all I needed. I knew my eyes and my touch would communicate what words couldn't.

I had faith in us from the very beginning and now all I can do now is hope that you will remember what brought us together in the first place...

You are my heart's keeper.

I wrote this on 08/23/2009 at 2:10am...

"What has happened to us? What happened to time spent in each other's arms? Have we gotten so lost that you can't even see the tears and hurt in my eyes anymore? We've lost touch. It seems you can't enjoy time with just me anymore. There always has to be at least one more person to distract you. What does that mean? That you can't handle alone time with me? Am I not worth it? Have I done something wrong? Please tell me. Because I will do anything to fix it. I miss the days when we could just spend the whole day together and be perfectly content. I miss those days. I miss that time. I miss you!
You've gone to see the sunrise and it's only 2am. Why do you need so many hours away? Why do I feel like I just waste your time?..."

Current Mood: contemplative

It's strange that the only music I can listen to is the Dresden Dolls or Amanda Palmer. You'd think that would be the last thing I would want to listen to, but it's not. Somehow DD and AFP make me feel calm...

I've lost my partner and my best friend.

Sandra means the world to me and I know she is a good person. She is just trying to figure something out and right now, and she is doing what she feels is right. I wish for nothing more than to have her back in my arms again. If that is meant to be, then it will be. All I can do is try to make it through each day as best I can.

I feel like I have never cried so much in my life; this pain is indescribable. I feel so hollow and alone. And I know I am not alone, luckily I have some amazing people around me that have helped (Thank you, you know who you are). I don't know if I will ever accept what Sandra has done/is doing. She has ripped my heart out of my chest and shattered me. Everything I did was for her or us. People say you should never depend on someone else, but my heart knew it was ok to depend on her. I've known her for 8 years and we've been together for almost 4 years. I know her inside and out. Every fear, every freckle, I know. And because I know her so well, I can't hate her. I can't hate her because this isn't her. The Sandra I know wouldn't do this. I can't say if it will work out with her and this other girl, but Sandra has to discover that on her own. If things don't work out, she will step back into reality and realize what she has done. But I don't know if I will be there when that happens.

When we fell in love, it was magical. We developed a beautiful relationship built on trust, love and honesty. She's so smart and caring and passionate. I still believe she is the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on. She is everything I have ever wanted in a partner. I honestly believed that we were going to be together forever. We talked about marriage and kids. We dreamed about all the places we would travel to in our life together.

But, as I said before, Sandra is going through something right now. And she feels that this other girl is worth the risk. Who knows what the future holds. Sandra has to discover what she really wants and needs. She needs to take a journey right now on a different path and figure some things out. I love her, I always will. I always told her I would love her no matter what and I mean that. Sandra is an amazing person, but sometimes even good people do crazy things. This is just a new chapter in life that is taking place. Maybe this happened because we aren't meant to be together, and maybe it happened to strengthen us and remind her of what we have. Only time will tell. In the meantime, the only thing I can do is wake up every morning, thankful to be alive. My heart and soul may be crushed, but I can't let that stop me from achieving my goals. I can't let this stop my life. She and I will find our place in this world, whether it is together or not...

Current Mood: pensive

http://kevan.org/johari?name=IndieStar22

I had the best birthday EVER this year!
Ever since I was in 9th grade, I have wanted to go to Cirque Du Soleil. EIGHT years I have been waiting to go!

For the past month, I knew Sandra was going to be taking me somewhere for my birthday as a surprise, but I had no clue what she had planned.
Well, Saturday evening, one of my dreams came true! I know that sounds like an exaggeration, but it’s not!! I arrived at Cirque Du Soleil with tears in my eyes. Sandra didn’t realize how much this meant to me.

The show was absolutely phenomenal! There was a girl the walked a tightrope, and rode a bike over the tightrope! Guys doing tricks all over the stage on bicycles! Trapeze artists! Performers wrapping themselves up in and silk ropes hanging from the ceiling! Oriental girls dancing! German wheel performers! A trampoline act!
All of it was just jaw-dropping! I couldn’t believe I was actually there! The seats were great! Actually, I don’t think there is a bad seat in the whole place. I was the happiest person on Earth while watching the show! It is definitely worth the money for the tickets!

I have never been so ecstatic about anything in my life! I thought RENT was the best show I had ever seen, but this definitely tops it for me!

#1 BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!! And I have my wonderful girlfriend to thank!! ♥

Current Mood: enthralled

( My Interests Collage! )

Create your own! Originally Written By ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by darkman424

Current Mood: creative

This weekend was great! Saturday night had finally come! It was RENT night!! Sandra and I made our way to Tampa with no traffic. And as we parked, the excitement grew!! We were really here! And we were going to see RENT live!! I was so happy to be there and I was even more happy that I could give Sandra such a great birthday present. I bought these tickets MONTHS ago the day they went on sale and we had been anticipating this day ever since!
We sat outside on a bench for a little bit as we had gotten there an hour and a half early. We watched all the RENTheads walk around and share their excitement with each other. Some guy tried to sell us his extra ticket as his date had cancelled on him at the last minute. That was sad.
While waiting outside, we filled out surveys to receive information on Cadillac Escalades and we got free mints for doing so! Mmmm cinnamon mints! :)
Finally the doors opened to the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center and we sat outside the door to our Orchestra seating. I went and bought a program for $20 and we got a Rent backpack, a special book on the cast and the program. After a little bit, the doors opened and we took our seats in the theatre. The seats were great; pretty much right in the center. We had a great view of the stage! I was so enthralled to be there! Sandra and I could barely contain our excitement! She snapped a quick photo of the stage set with her camera phone but it didn’t turn out too great because we were afraid one of the ushers would see her and take away her phone. We had already seen a lady get her camera taken away. Apparently the “No flash photography” rule is strictly enforced!

Before we knew it, it was 8:00. The show was about to begin!
As the characters took the stage, we were both simply glowing. Neither one of us could wipe the huge grin off of our faces! The show was amazing! It took a little bit for us to get used to the characters, as we had only seen the movie characters before. But we still sat there completely in a trance to be seeing this live; we couldn’t take our eyes off the stage! The songs, the characters, the emotions, the lights, the sounds, the stage! It was all incredible! I have never seen anything so mesmerizing. It really makes me so happy that I could give Sandra this as a birthday present. I know she enjoyed the show just as much, if not more, than me. And she deserves a great present for being such a wonderful, special person in my life ♥

Overall, RENT made for the best weekend ever. I got to spend the whole weekend together with Sandra and that makes me smile more than anything else :)

And now this morning, I have started the week off great. I had some delicious Vanilla Chai coffee Mmmmm
And as I was driving, I heard a commercial on the radio for some concert in Miami where Daft Punk is going to be. That automatically put “Daft Punk is playing in my house, my house!” in my head, so I pulled out my Ibar mix CD that Sandra made me and danced in the car on the way to work. I was just bouncing along, wishing I were really dancing at Ibar. So fun! I arrived at work energized and in a great mood, despite being here at 8am!

So far, the day has been great and the week will be as well. I pick Sandra’s Mom up from the airport on Wednesday evening and then Friday is Sandra’s birthday so the weekend is filled with fun activities and lots of yummy food!

19 days till my birthday where Sandra has planned some big surprise for me. I am so curious as to what this is because she has built it up so much! I’m positive though that whatever it is, I will love it. I am just so anxious to find out what it is!

It’s birthday craziness this month and I can't wait to celebrate!!! :)

Current Mood: energetic

As most of you know, I went to Europe for 19 days in June. Here are some of the highlights from my trip...


Germany was absolutely amazing!!! Everything there is breath taking. It was so nice to wake up and see fields of flowers outside my window instead of busy city life. It was so relaxing! Sandra and her Mom showed me all around the southwestern part of Germany. As I'm sure you heard on TV, the World Cup Soccer Tournament was in Germany this year, so we went to two of the fan fests in Kaiserslautern while I was there! That was super fun! It was just a bunch of people dancing around in their favorite team colors drinking and eating and watching the games. One of the nights we all dressed up in Germany colors to cheer them on! WooHoo!!
We also went to Heidelberg for some shopping and sightseeing. We went to a very old castle, which has been there since the 1600’s. The castle housed two giant vats, one with beer and an even larger one with wine! That was really cool to see!
One of the days I was in Germany we also went to the Rhine River. Along the river, there are many old castles that we took a boat tour around to see. We also went down a street called the Drossel Gasse. It is a very thin road with mainly restaurants and wine tastings. It is only 144 square meters long and because it is so thin, no cars are allowed to drive down it (they wouldn't fit if they tried anyway!). We also took a lift and went over the vineyards! It was so pretty!! The Rhine was my favorite part of my trip! They make this special wine there called Ice Wine. That's where they let the grapes get a light frost on them to bring out a different taste for the wine. I didn't get to try any there, but Sandra's Mom is a connoisseur of wine and she says it is delicious!

While I was in Europe, we also went to Paris for a day trip. That was fun, but way too expensive! It was with a German tour, so Sandra had to translate everything for me, since she speaks German fluently. It was really cool to get to see the Eiffel Tower and all the famous landmarks. Paris was nice, but the food wasn’t too great. And it is really expensive there!
The best thing about Paris was seeing The Louvre, the famous museum in Paris. That was amazing! Especially since while I was in Europe I was also reading The Da Vinci Code. I don't know if you have read it, but the Louvre is the main feature of the book! That was amazing! Our tour guide gave us a tip that we could find cheap lunch in the Louvre cafeteria. So we went there. That was great. It was like a food court with Italian, French, Chinese, Mexican food and more. For the both of us to eat lunch was only 8 Euros, which is equivalent to about $11, which in most other places around Paris that was the price for just one beer! So we did great there! It was also really cool because on the receipt it also showed the old conversion of the Franc, the money that Paris used to use years ago before the Euro was introduced. That was cool to see because our 8 Euro meal would have been 80 Francs. It was interesting to see how they used to convert the money.

We also took a 3 day bus tour to Italy and we went to Florence, Venice and Verona. All that I saw was absolutely beautiful! Our tour guide pointed out Michelangelo’s childhood home and the statue of David in Florence. We also went to the Santa Croche church and saw Michelangelo’s tomb.
In Venice, we spent the day in St. Mark's Square.
We fed the pigeons in the square. That was an interesting experience. You buy these little packets of corn seed from a street vendor and just put it in your hand and the birds come and sit on your arm and eat it right out of your hand. It was fun and kind of scary at the same time.
The square is right on the water and it is so pretty!!
We even went on a Gondola ride! *hearts;
Everything was so very beautiful! Venice was my favorite part of Italy!
On the last day of our Italian tour, we went to Verona, which is most famous for its Arena, which they have plays at. We also got to see Juliet's balcony from Romeo and Juliet. They say that if the story of Romeo and Juliet is true, then that would have been the famous balcony from her room. That was interesting to see.

Overall, my trip to Europe was unforgettable! I had a blast and I can't wait to go back again one day!!!! :)

Current Mood: hungry

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
All of them are quite unenjoyable.

2. What's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
Anywhere where you can look across the table and see her smile :)

3. Last time you Puked from Drinking?
Last week when we went to Pulse...

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
I’ve never danced on a bar, just in one...

5. Name of your First Grade Teacher?
Ms. Bonner

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Making money

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A teacher.

8.How many colleges did you attend before you settled?
I’ve only been to one so far.

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
Because I wanted to.

10. Gas Prices! First thought?
Shoot me now!

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you?
Australia with Sandra ♥

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Haha ... it’s not for me...

13. Last thought before falling asleep last night?
I don’t remember

14. What Errand/Chore do you despise?
Hm, I don’t really despise any chores. I like doing housework.

15. If you didn't have to work, what would you do?
Travel!

16. Get up early or sleep in?
While I do love my days of sleeping in, I feel a lot better about myself and about the day when I get up early.

17. Your Favorite Cartoon Character?
Lilo & Stitch

18. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a guy/girl is?
Curl up and watch a movie together ( or Roseanne, because it is usually on at least one channel every hour of the day )

19. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
Shhh ... I like girls ...

20. What was your First Car?
’95 Mazda 626

21. Your Favorite Lunch Meat?
Turkey or roast beef

22. What do you get everytime you go into a Walmart?
A headache.

23. Beach Or Lake?
Beach

24. Do you think Marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?
No, I happen to love the concept of marriage.

25. Who do you Stalk on myspace?
I don’t really “stalk” anyone, I just look at friends’ pages to see what they’ve updated and stuff.

26. Favorite Guilty Pleasure?
Singing at the top of my lungs while I am driving in my car alone. ( And pretending to sound good )

27. Favorite Movie you wouldnt want anyone to find out about?
I don’t have any movies that I am ashamed of.

28. What's your drink?
Nothing right now

29. Cowboys or Indians
Cowboys.

30. Cops or Robbers?
Neither.

31. Do you cheer for the bad guy?
Sometimes.

32. What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best?
I don’t know -- you tell me.

33. If you had to pick one cast member of Grey's Anatomy, which one would you be?
I don't watch that.

34. What do you want when you are sick?
A lot of attention and affection. And a lot of sleep. I am the biggest baby when I am sick.

35. Who from High School would you like to run into?
All the kids from the Academy. I miss them all...

36. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
I have no idea, I don’t listen to the radio in my car.

37. Stiffler or Oz?
Neither

38. Norm or Cliff?
Neither

39. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
Simpsons.

40. Worst Relationship Mistake that you wish you could take back?
Not speaking up about how unhappy I was.

41. Do you like the Person who sits directly across from you at work?
I don’t know who that is yet ... I start work tomorrow.

42. If you could get away with it who would you kill?
The man who killed my father.

43. What Famous person would you like to have dinner with?
She’s not too famous, but she is my favorite author -- Francesca Lia Block.

44. What famous person would you like to sleep with?
Angelina used to be my answer to this question before, but I have become to respect her more as a person than a pretty face, so I would have to say Eminem. [Don’t laugh]

45. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Thankfully, no.

46. Last book you read for real?
The Da Vinci Code

47. Do you have a teddy bear?
Nope.

48. Strangest Place you have ever brushed your teeth?
I don’t recall ever brushing them anywhere other than a bathroom...

49. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
San Francisco.

50. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or relationship? I'm starting a new job tomorrow as a matter of fact.

Current Mood: cheerful

I can’t believe that in one week I will be getting ready to board a plane for 9 hours to Germany! Anyone who has been around me recently knows how absolutely ecstatic I am! I will be gone for almost 3 weeks and I am completely enthralled. We are also going to Italy for 3 days too!! Me! In Italy! The one place I always said I wanted to go to on my first trip to Europe and I am actually doing it! All I can think about is this trip.
I absolutely can’t wait to see my beloved girlfriend [♥] again and to travel around Germany and Italy with her. This is without a doubt the most exciting thing that has ever happened in my life!!

Current Mood: excited

Tiffany has been having a bad week, so I decided to make her a cake today while she was away. Here is the result...



Let's just say, I've crossed "Cake Decorator" off my list of careers. haha

But I hope it makes her smile :)

Current Mood: chipper

You're a Romantic Realist


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

Brought to you by Tickle

Current Mood: happy

Who's going to see Sean Paul tonight?? That's right, I am! Along with my favorite girl in the world! :)

[You know you're jealous!]

Current Mood: excited

I’m settling in quite nicely in my new home. This feels good. It’s different, definitely something to adjust to. But I am simply ecstatic. It just feels so right. Waking up next to her every day is the best gift I could ever be given. I’ve never known this pure, genuine happiness and love until now. I can’t help but smile. It feels so good to share my space and life with her.
This has been a very warming experience for me. I feel welcome and wanted and loved. I feel very secure. Everything has fallen into place quite nicely.

It’s crazy. A few weeks ago when this was all supposed to happen, I was really nervous. I’ve never lived with a significant other before and I was scared to take this step. But now, I’m not scared at all. I am so elated to have taken this step with her. It is a big deal to me to move in with someone I am dating. But everything about this has fallen into place exactly the way it should. Even down to simple things like everything fitting in the closet.

I am in awe everyday with how my life has changed over the past few months and how completely serene things are. I feel really good about the choices I have made and the path I have taken.

♥I am truly happy.

Current Mood: happy